The Extended Editions

My mouth has been feeling weird all week, sometimes achey, and my anxiety keeps telling me that my teeth are about to all fall out. The soonest I could get a dentist appointment was Monday morning, so let’s pray that I don’t lose everything before then. It doesn’t really have any splitting pain, though, so that seems like it’s probably a good sign.

I realized that I need a place to put my letters and drafts–right now I just have several large piles of paper.

The last two seasons of Brooklyn 99 are now on Netflix, so I am watching those. Just started The Egyptian by Mika Waltari, and man, our guy Sinuhe is not making good decisions.

The Extended Editions

In the early 2000s, New Line Cinema’s Lord of the Rings trilogy rocked the world. These movies were huge–bigger than anyone expected a fantasy film trilogy ever could be. And they’re long! Each movie is about three hours, and yet they still couldn’t cover everything that was in the books. As a result, fans tend to point to the Extended Editions, released later, as the “definitive” versions of the movies. Overall, I tended to lean towards this stance, though obviously both versions of the film are magnificent.

[We are of course not counting the 2020 “remastered” versions which are, uh… not great on the colors and look of the films.]

Certain things just don’t make as much sense outside of the Extended Editions. Like, why does Aragorn have a new knife, and Legolas have a new bow? Where did Frodo’s vial come from? There are little touches of character development that I love. And sure, there are some extraneous scenes that I understand why they might be cut, but mostly this works? Polygon publishing an article that the theatrical versions are the definitive ones felt like blasphemy. The Extended Editions are the most complete version, ergo, they are definitive, right?

Right?

…so I watched the Extended Return of the King last weekend. And, uh, the “Paths of the Dead” sequence.

In the theatrical version, it’s a fairly short sequence: Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli go into the mountain, find a massive cave, and are surrounded by glowing ghosts. When they close in, Legolas tries shooting one, but the arrow goes straight through. The King threatens Aragorn, and goes to strike him, but the sword of the King of Gondor is able to parry it. Aragorn assures them that if they fight for him, they’ll be free of their curse. The scene ends, unclear what will happen.

In the Extended Edition, there’s more of the trio traveling through the tunnels, including about a minute of Gimli trying to blow out misty ghost hands. After Aragorn makes his plea, the dead people disappear, the cave takes all too long to collapse into a pile of skulls, and the trio make it outside. Aragorn despairs at having apparently failed, only for the dead king to come out of the mountain and assure him that they’ll fight for him.

So much of that was unnecessary. Why did we need Gimli’s crappy comedy bit? Why does the cave collapse? Why are there so many goshdarn skulls? Why does the dead king take so long to commit? Is he pranking Aragorn?

I think all of the Extended Edition movies of the trilogy have this: at least one scene that goes on for too long, that has several bits that don’t really mean anything. Yeah, they often lead to amusement or character development, but so often it’s just… really unnecessary stuff that someone obviously didn’t need to keep in the movie. It’s there. It doesn’t need to be. It didn’t even deserve a deleted scene on the DVD.

Which is all to say: the Extended Editions are, overall, really cool things to have. But I don’t know that they’re definitive. They’re just… more. They’re a different way to experience the story, a longer way, and while a lot of what they have is good, they also have fluff that really doesn’t need to be there, and it’s clear to see why so much of it was cut.

And again, both versions of the movies are incredible achievements. There shouldn’t really be an argument about which one is better–it’s like arguing about two kinds of delicious chocolate layer cake! Just enjoy what you have with you, and feel free to try the other one!

My point here is that we should all just chill and watch whatever Lord of the Rings movies we have on hand (unless it’s the 2020 ‘remastered’ edition, in which case find something else to watch).

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